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I have that rare survivors of death condition of simply being grateful that I am alive. Combine that with being a pollyanna, and that is how I felt I contributed to this world. That was my life statement. Finding something beautiful or amazing each day was just something I did to always have that outlook Because my life has been horrific. I thought I faced all the hell life could give me, But then something happened that I thought never could. Life stole my written voice away, that was how I had helped ease and sooth others since I was a child. I became lost.
Eventually realizing the girl that had faced Death himself and fought to try to live, simply didn't want to anymore; I had stopped looking for that something beautiful, that awed me each day.
So I made an oath to myself to not go to sleep until I found that something. I realized I Wanted to take a picture of what it is I see each day; So I started trying to take photos with my cellphone camera.
That turned into a daily fight as I tried and tried to force my cellphone’s camera to see what I did.
Suddenly, I began seeing the world without my pollyanna glasses, and it gave me what I desperately needed… a way to try and help myself, which I had never done before and possibly still help others. I began to really stop and see this amazing place in which we live.
I still fight my cellphone’s camera to take the photos that I do until I can get a real camera, and I love that I mostly now win, and now also after a lifetime of only being able to draw stick figures, I woke up one day this past April to realize my doodle actually looked ….amazing. So then I tried doodling something on purpose and...well... since April I have been teaching myself to draw and paint as well.
My goal is for others to view people, cities, nature, Life , past perceived notions and become awed..
If someone can look at my work and feel? They are no longer numb to the day and will cherish it just a bit more.
This is now my mission.To help others try and appreciate life.
I don’t want to simply move someone with my art, I want to strike them still.
So hopefully they too will see… and begin to heal.